![]() They use verbs like "drive", "achieve" and "push ourselves" in their efforts to motivate others to similar levels of focus and effort. Ennea Threes are also pragmatic and clear, and use concrete examples to get to the heart of a matter. Their communications are full of "return on investment", "goals" and "adding value" and they are comfortable telling others what they, the Ennea Three, have achieved. This will help create an environment for listening, rather than being pre-occupied with your own thoughts about the other people involved.Įnneagram 3 - Competitive Achiever Meta-message to others: "I know how to achieve - so let me support your efforts to be a success."Įnneagram Threes tend to be assertive, practical, and to the point in their communication, unwilling to 'waste time' as they might see it. Ennea Twos might improve their communication by reducing the level of persuasion and flattery they include and instead expressing their own feelings more simply and directly. Because Ennea Twos focus on the feelings of others, they may leave themselves and their own challenges or opinions out of their communications - until they feel taken for granted. Enneagram Twos try to be encouraging at all times and any negative messages may be masked or cushioned with compliments and flattery. The communication underpinning this message is often informal, often expressing positive sentiments, emotions or feelings and using cheerful language like "great", "well done!" and "you can do it". Rather, take communication with others as an opportunity to be open to alternative perspectives and explore multiple interpretations of facts.Įnneagram 2 - Considerate Helper Meta-message to others: "I am here, I'm available and willing to listen, help, and advise in any way I can." Ennea Ones can develop their communication by being aware of their tendency to categorise ideas as good or bad, and the risks of this over-simplification in complex contexts. Their communication is peppered with words like "should" and "must" and "ought", reflecting their moral stance. Enneagram Ones will often describe the world or situations as right or wrong, good or bad and use categorical, black and white language. ![]() This meta-message is supported by clear and directive communication that often focuses on highlighting errors or mistakes, giving instructions, and setting boundaries. The Nine Enneagram Types show different patterns of what people will or won't focus on, how they communicate, and their meta-messages: Enneagram 1 - Strict Perfectionist Meta-message to others: "Understand and achieve my standards, which are clearly right and better than others." The Enneagram Type of the person receiving the communication influences their perceptual filters and, therefore, the received message - it shapes what the person will notice, colours their interpretation of meta-messages, influences what they might be triggered by, and even the extent to which they are likely to clarify.The Enneagram Type of the person communicating shapes what they focus on (the messages they see as important), how they communicate the message (tone and language) and what else might be implied at the same time (meta-message).Our Enneagram Type influences communication on both the sender's and receiver's ends: The Enneagram can help us understand our own communication style, use it more effectively, and also to understand others. It is not said directly but rather is inferred from the general tone, content, and pattern or focus of your communication and other behaviours). (A meta-message is the underlying message you may be communicating to others, often unintentionally. We know that much of what we send, interpret, and hear is not so much in the words we say, but also in the context, the meta-messages, and our tone of voice. We are constantly sending non-verbal cues to others, whether we are aware and intentional about these messages or not. What is actually happening in many of these situations is that we are communicating, but the other person is not picking up what we hoped they would, or is not reacting in the way we anticipated.Īs social creatures, people communicate all the time, even when we are not talking. When we talk about 'a breakdown in communication' we do not often actually mean that we are not communicating at all - rather, that we are failing to communicate effectively: what we mean to say is not what is heard, and, before we know it, we find ourselves in a conflict. And yet, communication is a common challenge and issue that people raise in coaching, needing support to improve in this area. even fall in love! Most of human existence involves two or more people communicating on some level at some time. Communication is undeniably one of the most important tools we have - it is the medium through which we share ideas, clarify requests, make sense of our world, build relationships.
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